he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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