I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
