they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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