Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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