one two three fourrrrnication!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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