They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
