YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cut my penus on the lid.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He has the fingertips of a God
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
