nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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