theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
