remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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