Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

(352): View more from Florida

WHAT?!

(407): View more from Florida

He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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(407): So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch. (352): WHAT?! (407): He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/9qqv

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(440): View more from Ohio

It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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(440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

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(717): Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm http://tfl.nu/ao4q

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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(336): I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo! http://tfl.nu/ejnx

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(954): View more from Florida

First date: that requires underwear, huh?

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(954): First date: that requires underwear, huh? http://tfl.nu/ogif

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(313): View more from Michigan

I can get orange kush...

(586): View more from Michigan

GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!

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(313): I can get orange kush... (586): GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?! http://tfl.nu/voiy

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(404): View more from Georgia

I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

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(404): I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before http://tfl.nu/47j4

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(703): View more from Virginia

We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

(540): View more from Virginia

You guys make me sad

(703): View more from Virginia

You misspelled jealous there

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(703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst

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(803): View more from South Carolina

she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often

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(803): she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often http://tfl.nu/h6kk

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

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(401): I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard. http://tfl.nu/cjsq

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(641): View more from Iowa

My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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(641): My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning. http://tfl.nu/bmvl

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink

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(630): Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink http://tfl.nu/oigr

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(907): View more from Alaska

It's a journey

(1-907): View more from Alaska

And the destination is his penis?

(907): View more from Alaska

Precisely.

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(907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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(610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac

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(770): View more from Georgia

possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer

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(770): possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer http://tfl.nu/bt81

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