Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis