Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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(913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j

Replies (36) Good night (866) Bad night (4365)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

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(604): People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky http://tfl.nu/clbn

Replies (90) Good night (8187) Bad night (1420)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.

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(208): I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants. http://tfl.nu/k57a

Replies (21) Good night (1383) Bad night (5392)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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(973): So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter http://tfl.nu/eba3

Replies (36) Good night (2160) Bad night (5815)
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(404): View more from Georgia

And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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(404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny

Replies (26) Good night (5564) Bad night (859)
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(937): View more from Ohio

it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics

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(937): it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics http://tfl.nu/vrre

Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (2029)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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(763): Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months http://tfl.nu/4w1o

Replies (3) Good night (1733) Bad night (1252)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.

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(732): I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this. http://tfl.nu/iud4

Replies (6) Good night (1976) Bad night (808)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

(1+44): View more from

Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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(+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8

Replies (3) Good night (1771) Bad night (625)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.

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(573): Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing. http://tfl.nu/j85g

Replies (8) Good night (1022) Bad night (539)
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(619): View more from California

If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.

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(619): If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home. http://tfl.nu/v77a

Replies (3) Good night (507) Bad night (1011)
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(561): View more from Florida

I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.

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(561): I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished. http://tfl.nu/wm2d

Replies (1) Good night (1204) Bad night (436)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!

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(214): I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made! http://tfl.nu/rkm5

Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (446)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.

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(703): She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic. http://tfl.nu/ch95

Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (586)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.

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(312): I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will. http://tfl.nu/1dfb

Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (498)

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