Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
