Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
