I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want to make out with him forever
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
