just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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