I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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