I have demons in me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
