my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
