Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
