Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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