craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize