fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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