its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize