hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
