I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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