I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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