What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
