put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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