I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
