Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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