ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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