Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
where are my eyebrows?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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