YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
