I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
