This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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