Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
