I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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