Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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