hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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