I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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