I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize