i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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