the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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