I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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