Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
