I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize