I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
