i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
