Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
