How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
