wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
