she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
