and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
