I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize