I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
