I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
