Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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