So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
