My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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