I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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