walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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