I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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