if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
