do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
