its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
