I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
