Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
