When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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